SISJ KIDS: M U M E R G Y & all that other crazy shit!
E N E R G Y: the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity // M U M E R G Y: super-f**king-awesome strength and vitality for sustained, relentless, 24/7, like all the time, physical, mental, emotional and everything else activity – and then some! I think I need to trademark that term and definition immediately! Do I get a hellllll-yeah from all my fellow mammas out there? I know I do.
So it’s taken me almost eight days to actually find the time and MUMERGY to write and finish this post, but here we are. I also feel like I am on borrowed time, so I better speed write this before a certain little someone decides sleep time is party time. As I celebrated NYE 2015 like it was 2013 (BC #beforechildren #inbedbytenthirty #not), I couldn’t ignore all those lame Instagram OTT quotes about everyone else’s NY resolutions clogging-up my carefully followed feed (!!!). However, as lame and annoying as they can be, I too am guilty of setting a few and putting up a few lame-o quotes. Soz. However, I won’t bore you all with my entireeeeee list, but there are a few ‘themes’ shall we say, that I think many new/old mammas can relate to. Here’s to 2016!
WHAT YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY PREPARE FOR…
Last week little MG turned eight months, and I FINALLY, FINALLY feel as though I am coming out of my new-mamma-coma (excuse the rather morbid description, but that’s how I feel). We all know they “grow up way too fast” and to enjoy every single moment, but then there’s also something called reality. The exhaustion and MUMERGY required to raise these little people is beyond any written description I can provide. It’s rather better described with a noise that sounds a little something like this “uuuhahhhhhhhh“. I look back on the last eight months (the majority of 2015 for me) and scratch my head in absolute confusion… AND joy. How did I even get here? How did I manage to successfully birth and raise this incredible little person? How could I love her more than I do? How could I let so many of my friendships fall to the side? How did we only manage to have like two date nights in eight months? How did I not answer so many emails and grow my business ten fold? How did I just give up on PT and learning to love my new body over the last two months? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS and so LITTLE time to answer them. I know, let’s write a long and sulky blog post instead #duh
While I am my own worst enemy and very critical of myself (in every respect), I know I am a bloody good mummy. I trust in my own instincts, I am observant and read MG’s needs, I am an awesome dancer/entertainer, I can make super spot-on fart noises with my mouth (get your head out the toilet!), and give arguably the best raspberries and kisses going-round. BUT, as a business woman, wife and person, I do feel as though I have failed over the last 8 – 18 months. I’ve hardly caught up with even my closest friends in months/if at all, I am always tired and a little snappy to live with, I have recently totally lost my shit when it comes to eating well and exercising (two things that I normally enjoy sooo much), and gone weeks without blogging – just to name a few of the million things that have been bugging me. Is this failure? Maybe not, but I know I CAN do better. I am still searching for the ‘answer’ and how to ‘have it all’, but I know my baseline of happiness MUST begin with me and choosing my state of mind. I am hoping this year to start each day by being kind to myself and more importantly, REALISTIC. Realistic about my goals, my daily to-do lists and being a mummy/wife/stay-at-home-working-mummy-slash-superwoman.
I think motherhood is like any other stage in our lives that we experience as women. Most of us are really, really good at giving helpful advice to one another, but really, really crap at taking it. Even as a write this I want to slap myself for being so damn hard on myself, but then that pesky little voice in my head keeps saying “it’s still not good enough“. This is where my MUMERGY comes in and saves the day* (*most of the time), but also fails me. Sometimes it’s just easier to keep putting things off, not text or call your friends back, not sit down and write for my blog, not launch Mummies Who Lunch (like I said I would five months ago). Ugh, see, it’s a vicious cycle. SOMEONE SLAP ME! While I will never stop trying to achieve the perfect balance (even knowing it probably doesn’t exist!), I will try harder to separate my time and roles (being a mummy, business owner, wife, friend, human) and enjoying all aspects of them one million percent. If I don’t do this, I fear I will waste more time and energy, and achieve nothing.
ADJUSTING TO THE NEW-NORMAL: Hmmm the good old ‘new normal’. A world where I am ruled by routine and structure, but at the same time it’s a world of so many unpredictable unknowns. I also should probably stop saying to people “I just had a baby“. It’s as though I am already making excuses and building a case, as to why I look tired, am not performing at ‘my best’, or to protect myself from failing (in other’s eyes….). ANYWAY, this year I am going to really try and mantra myself with > IT IS, WHAT IT IS. There are going to be days where I feel and look amazing, and there are going to be just as many days where I feel like a big fat shit AND a failure. There are going to be days where I eat well, exercise and am not snappy when my husband comes home. There are going to be days where I see my baby girl learn to crawl for the first time (this happened last night!) and almost pee myself with pride. There are also going to be days where nothing goes to plan, and THAT IS OK.
STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES (NOT JUST BABY SHIT): Maybe I better start with cutting my nails then, because we’ve all had some leftover poopie get stuck under there 😉 Sorry if you’ve never had kids or are offended by that. Not really, HTFU. This NYR is the same-same, but different to the above. This really is the next step on the quest to finding that pot of gold at the bottom of the rainbow, and also probably the key to achieving lower blood pressure #metaphoricallyspeaking. Instead of working myself into a state that MG is off her routine one day, that she is crying during take-off in the plane and other passengers are giving me greasies, beating myself up over not doing any admin for two days etc. Need I go on?! No matter what situation I find myself in, I will breath, relax and look at the positives – because one day, she won’t NEED or WANT me!
IF YOU HAVEN NOTHING BETTER TO DO AND ARE INTRESTED IN MY REMAINING NYRs, here are a few: drink more water (woha, ground breaking), eat better (#trendsetter), learn to nap (I wish), learn how to cook, respond to text messages within 48 hours (I’ve already failed…), to have more date nights, to get mu pre-baby tummy back and to build an even bigger and better blog. Oh, and to learn how to curl the right-side of my hair… !!!